August 9, 2020

On Vampiresque Houses

I'm mad at my mom.

My mom is a Nebraskan born and raised, and she now wants to return to her hometown of Omaha when she retires. In the meantime she has been looking at a LOT of houses for sale in Omaha. One such house is 426 N 38th Street. My mom showed me this house and I instantly fell in love. All my life I thought I'd be content with a small, cottage-like home. But no longer.

The brick exterior, the woodwork, the massive staircase, the balcony-patio hybrid -- I love it all. My mom thinks it looks like a hotel, but I think it looks like a house vampires would live in. I mean, come on. That dark wood and old-fashioned architecture is totally vampire aesthetic.

If I lived in this house, I feel like I'd be required to wear fancy dresses and bright red lipstick. I'd have a massive library and spend my days reading. I'd lounge on fainting couches, drinking wine and eating chocolates.

I keep imagining what I would do with each of the rooms. One of the bigger rooms could be library. One could be a dance floor. The room with the best lighting would become an art studio. I'd grow all kinds of plants on the balcony. (Because this is all a fantasy I can pretend that I actually have a green thumb and haven't killed every plant I've ever owned.)

In any case, it's a handsome house, and I'd love to live here.

The only problem is ... it costs over half a million dollars. If I ever want to live in a house like this, I'd have to make a lot of money, and that definitely wasn't something I was planning on doing. So, that brings me to why I'm mad at my mom*. If she never showed me this house, I'd never have been seduced by its sexy staircase and walk-in pantry. I'd have been content with a small home. But alas! She's corrupted my minimalist sensibilities with visions of elegance.

*I'm just kidding here. I love my mom and could never be mad at her.

Anyway, if you're wondering what the point of this whole post even was, I just wanted to say:

1. Vampire houses are sexy.

2. Daydreaming is fun.